Anxiety. Seriously the worst word I could possibly hear when winter starts approaching. And not necessarily hear but feel. I feel it coming. It happens every year. As the temperature starts to drop and it gets colder, I feel the dark emptiness wrap itself around me and pull me into the dark hole that always seems to be waiting for me to crawl back in. That dark hole exists and every time i feel it coming on, it scares me. My anxiety creeps back in and it doesn’t matter what I try to do to stop it, it’s here. To stay. At least for a while. It comes in bouts which only makes things harder because even when I am around the people I love and care about its there taunting me. It’s in the way. Constantly.
So what is it that causes it? I wish I knew. I wish I could answer that myself. For me. And if you ask yourself how could someone who seems to be so happy, has a family, two amazing little boys, have anything to be anxious about? Well, to me it’s not about those things. Thats what actually makes my anxiety better. It is what makes me want to get up in the morning and try to push through. It’s honestly a feeling I can’t explain but makes me feel anxious, heavy in my chest, my hands get a burning tingling sensation and I compensate it all by scratching the skin off my legs.
Seasonal Affective Disorder is very common and happens every year at the same time. For me its the changing of weather throughout the seasons that triggers anxiety for me. For me it usually isn’t as bad throughout the year, although of course there are situations that can make it worse.
SAD is said to be started in young adulthood and is more common in women than men. Because of the lack of enough sunlight during winter, symptoms can vary from mild to severe. From having less energy, trouble concentrating, fatigue, greater appetite, increased desire to be alone, greater need for sleep, weight gain, depression, hopelessness, mood swings, and sadness.
The things that I have noticed that help me get through is definitely spending time with my family, and making a routine of working out every day, going to bed early, and honestly by surrounding myself around my friends as much as possible. For me being able to get out as much as possible makes me keep busy and distracted from the feelings and thoughts running through my head.
If you have any of these symptoms know you are not alone, seek help talk to others. Sometimes we get ashamed of having these feelings and keep them bottled in for so long. I know I did for years and the first person I ever told was my husband. I could see our relationship was getting destroyed by it and I opened up to him and I am so glad I did. He knows when its starting and is always there to help and hold my hand through it.
There are different treatments depending on your symptoms but always get your doctors help first.
This blog post is solely my opinion.